It's Time for Competition to Crush ESPN


You ever call your bank? Okay good, then you might get this. How many times have you called your bank or something of the sort and they begin the conversation with something like this, “Good afternoon Mr.______, how are you doing today?” and you respond with something like “good” as if you just got in the car after school and your mom asked you the same question, and they say “Oh, I’m so happy you’re having a good day, I’d like to thank you for having a good day, I’d like to thank you for calling _____ bank, we are here all day and happy you are calling and happy that you are having a good day” ..You know? Just some exaggerated bullshit like that. Listen lady, neither of us give a fuck about each others day. I’m not excited about this phone call, and you’re getting paid money to answer and even YOU aren’t excited so lets just get this over with and find out why I was charged $250.00 at Applebee’s on Saturday night.

My point is, as a customer calling the bank, unless you are a huge pussy, you see right through the bankers bullshit introductory pitch and realize, like any human should, that they truly DO NOT GIVE A FUCK about your day. Therefore, you are aware that there’s truly no sympathy during this interaction. Got it?...

…So why can’t people apply this basic social awareness concept to ESPN. It’s so easy to realize that these pathetic half ass sports journalist majors just consistently crank bullshit out on their keyboard and their mouths to get people talking and generate views, listens, and most importantly attract human eyes on their brand in order to keep it alive. People keep bitching about ESPN’s product, so why not just stop paying attention to it no matter what they broadcast and pay attention to a real source. Even if ESPN had a news story that the Rock literally ate Vin Diesel, like ate the fucking guy, just train yourself not to tune in. It’s that easy. Problem would be solved, but it’s nearly impossible to get the masses to do that…because the masses are full of idiots. Shit, I’m even an idiot, but at least I’m on a level of idiot that can understand how ESPN functions and stays alive. Can somebody just out-compete these assholes. I gotta go.

50in07 JonesComment