the NHL Hates Fun


What's up pussies I hope everyone's brain is a bowl of soup today because that means you did Memorial Day Weekend right. I don't want to hear any shit about how I don't respect MDW just because I drink. Had too many people with egg profile pictures with 19 followers tweeting at me bitching that I don't know what the holiday is. I know what the fuck it is. 

I just remembered how I can't get a grip on how terrible the reviews on an offside is for something that the human eye can't even see. It takes FOREVER. It's fucking ABSURD to reverse a goal after the puck was in the zone for 45 hours because somebody's skate blade was offside by .000000001 of a centimeter 4 days ago. Dude, the human eye (the ref) can't fucking see that. That's like asking an Arby's employee to make you a five star New York steak. Would he? NO! He'd blow vape smoke in your face and tell you to fuck off. It doesn't make any sense what the NHL is doing. I get it, the right call is important, blah blah blah. But if somebody fucks up on the zone entry and then the play goes on for more than 10 seconds, the goal should count. Stop taking away goals like that.

Clearly the NHL hates gay people. Like ok, did Ryan Getzlaf really mean hate towards gay people by saying "cocksucker..." the answer is no he didn't. But a 10k fine? Really? Me and my boys just spent 10k in fucking vegas and I'm CERTAINLY not a professional athlete making millions of dollars. Listen, fining the guy 10 minutes of ice time worth of money isn't going to make the gay community happy. You know what will? Forcing the refs to wear yoga pants. If a player is caught making a slur or some offensive shit (people are way too sensitive, 90% of the time it's not actually offensive but I'm not gonna go there) then the refs should have to wear yoga pants for at least 5 games. This way, gay people or even chicks can check them out and be like damn I'll have those glutes for lunch. That will make up for it. Not a $2 fine. Look at the NBA. Dancers. Look at the NFL. Cheer leaders. I know that there's ice girls, but there needs to be sex appeal in this league to get more fans and get more attention. Seriously, get rid of the old fucks in the penalty box that look like applebees bartenders and make it steaming hot girls with obnoxiously big tits that open and close the gate. Do SOMETHING to provide some extra entertainment. 

Also, I can't believe that dude that threw the catfish on the ice in PIT* is getting charged with a bunch of shit. There's a lot worse shit going on there. Stop acting like the guy killed somebody and realize that it's just an act to get the crowd going. If anything, it should be allowed. Throw MORE shit on the ice. Also, can people start commenting on the comment section here? Like people will read this and then tweet at me. Just comment in the comment section nerds, it's way easier!!!!!!!!

50in07 Jones1 Comment