HOT TAKES TONIGHT

*** THREE NEW SHIRTS ARE AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE. It's been four years of 50 in '07 clothing which is absolutely fucking insane. I started this in my room before college and even though I sort of ditched the brand last year (while I was working real estate and doing school blah blah blah) the audience has still kept it alive. The new shit will ship next week, and after that I ship right away. The shirts are great quality, a major step up from the past. Anyways, I'm sure none of you give a shit so....

Tonight is really pissing me the fuck off. I don't know why, but I just feel like my hot take game tonight might not be on point as it usually is. Usually I predict like 1 game right, but today I'm feeling off my game. Maybe it's because I buried 6 slices of pizza last night and feel like Mike Milbury's back fat but who knows. Okay anyways here we go, tonights HOT TAKES:

NEW YORK/MONTREAL: Can the mother fucking rangers really take home two wins to MSG? If they can, this series is more over than the Undertaker's WWE career. I just feel like the Montreal french fries are under a lot of pressure right now, so the Rangers need to take advantage of that shit. Also, zuccarello is a fucking Norwegian swag god and for that reason tonight, HOT TAKE: NEW YORK WINS.

COLUMBUS/PITTSBURGH: Okay I really don't feel like predicting this one because it's just bothering me that Columbus is out of fucking gas. Like, stranded on route 66 with a half bottle of water and some sunflower seeds. This is a tough team to play against, no doubt about it, but what the fuck is going on? John Tortorella better light a fire under everyones ball sack and make this series interesting. I still have faith in the Jackets, but this is their last chance. For that reason, the hot take is: COLUMBUS WINS.

MINNESOTA/ST.LOUIS: Can minnesota fucking do something. I mean come on. This team is too good to not score goals. Gonna keep this one short and sweet. Minnesota wins.

EDMONTON/SAN JOSE: COME ON EDMONTON. DO SOMETHING CRAZY. I really want to see McDavid lead this god damn team into San Jose with a win. Do not go to the shark tank down two games. Just don't fucking do it. Plus, I HATE the camera angle at the shark tank. It's basically like somebody is recording the game from the rafters with an iPhone. I can't stand it, easily the worst camera angle in hockey and in the history of sports. For that reason, EDMONTON wins.

 

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