Arby's somehow buys Dad Bod Powerhouse Buffalo Wild Wings

BREAKING: Arby’s, one of the most famous fast food chains that nobody you know has ever ate at, has acquired dad bod powerhouse Buffalo Wild Wings in a 2.4 Billion dollar deal, in CASH. First of all, how does Arby’s have that kind of cash? Does anyone even know anyone that’s ever ate at Arby’s? Didn’t think so. Personally, all I know is that they have the meats. Years and years and years of “We HAAAAVE THE MEATS” commercials STILL hasn’t convinced me to try Arby’s. Just keep your meat the fuck away from me.

As for Buffalo Wild Wings, I 100% understand why the owner was looking to get rid of the franchise. I mean here’s a person who wanted to create a fun family environment for wings and sports and it totally backfired and turned into an absolute war zone full of dads in stained sweatpants with low credit scores screaming at the top of their fucking lungs in the restaurant. The worst part about it, is since there’s 4,000 TV’s in BWW, you have like 85 angry dads screaming about a ton of different games. One second you’re having a conversation and eating some wings, then you’re in a full blown panic attack because a fumble happened and the entire place just fucking explodes in chaos. Spit flying everywhere, chairs flipping, fights breaking out. I mean seriously, the place is a fucking zoo. If you want to get your ass kicked for absolutely no reason, go to Buffalo Wild Wings on a Sunday wearing a sports jersey. I personally guarantee you that a guy you have never met wearing an Oakland Raiders jersey will intentionally try to hurt you and your family.

Half the time you can’t even get a table or eat at BWW because there’s usually a full blown 11 on 11  pick-up football game going on inside of the restaurant. True story: I was at buffalo wild wings walking to the bathroom and I got crushed by a construction worker running a fade route for a touchdown and I broke my arm in 2 places. Place is filled with savages. I’ve been to a buffalo wild wings where there was literally a locker room inside the building for pick-up games. I saw a guy kick his wife's ass in there one time and nobody even did anything. 

Anyways, what the fuck is Arby’s thinking? I don’t know. Nobody can predict what’s going to happen, but it can’t be good. I highly advise anybody reading this to stay away from this insane collaboration. Nothing good can come out of this, NOTHING. I mean just look at the crowd in BWW. People in there are doing the "hot wing challenge" until their body falls apart for NO reason. It's just a toxic environment. Then you have Arby's who barely even have a restaurant because you walk in there and there's just meat all over the floor. What the fuck can they possibly be cooking up?


50in07 JonesComment