Blake Shelton winnning Sexiest Man Alive is the greatest thing to happen since the moon landing

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I can not stress to you how major this is. Like It's hard for me to even put into words but I'm surely gonna try. Blake Shelton winning SEXIEST Man Alive has just done something so wonderful for all of us averaging looking guys. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that Blake Shelton isn't even close to being sexiest man alive, he's average, anyone can see that. He looks like an employee at AutoZone. Here is why if you're anywhere between a 4 to 7 you should be estatic. What this has just done is open up the floodgates for all us average looking men. We are officially on the same level as the hot dudes, it has completely blurred the lines between average and good looking. Im sure that he was given this award based on some sort of democratic voting system so its proof that our culture is advancing and finally bringing us average guys amongst the elite. I remember a time where you had to be tall, thin and handsome to be considered sexy, but we're officially in the Renaissance era of sexiness. I mean theres girls out there calling Post Malone hot, like that is fucking amazing. Post Malone looks like a man who has a steady diet of uncrustable PB&J sandwiches and Baja Blast Mountain Dew. At this rate I could be dating Emma Watson by February.

So, Average-looking men out there, rejoice. We are living in a time of change and progression, so go shoot your shot with a girl you previously thought you had no chance with. Swing for a birdie so far out of your league that you come out of your shoes. 2018 will be our year.

Andrew ChampagneComment